Thom Mozloom is “a little s**t,” was the first post that caught my eye. Shortly after a post insinuated that I’m both a misogynist and anti-Arab. (That person obviously doesn’t know me, nor had they read my last name.)
Another poster called the reporter I had been chatting with a “presstitute.”
Being called names isn’t really new for me. When one provides political commentary in the media, harsh words and hate mail are part of the job. It was the setting that took me off guard. All of this happened in a neighborhood chat. The people making these comments are people who I know. I run into them. And my friend, the “presstitute,” he lives in that community and sees those people all the time. The topic wasn’t national politics, I wasn’t a guest on a cable network. The reporter posted something, and I responded to it. It was something so mundane, in fact, that I’ve long forgotten the topic.
In reading through a host of neighborhood chats, groups, and message boards, from Cutler Bay to North Miami and everywhere in between, I’ve found that incidents of over-the-top rhetoric and name calling are not unique, and they’re not even reserved for public personalities or politicians.
Evidently, this is the new normal.
“What the h**l are you teaching your children at home,” one neighbor posted after another neighbor pointed out that bicyclists have the right to a full lane.
“This is going to destroy the area … It’s going to attract all the illegal aliens crossing the border with no docs and no health screenings,” a resident of an affluent neighborhood wrote to everyone about a planned low-income apartment project.
“Do not start the cancel culture dog whistle claiming my opinions are toxic,” a neighbor posted after another neighbor wrote to them saying, “I know why they removed you from the other group.”
These chats, groups, and message boards are uncomfortably hostile. It’s like reading through a talk-radio call-in show or scrolling through Twitter (currently known as X). The one key difference is that the people hurling insults at each other aren’t posting in the giant pool of social media where nobody really knows them. They’re not hiding behind the anonymity of a clever handle like @Jen8675309 or @Dadzilla.
No.
You all know each other. You all live near each other. Your kids and pets probably play with each other. The words you are using hit differently. They’re more harsh, more damaging, and more divisive.
Imagine running into a neighbor in the store and saying to them, “I was just curious as to why someone would be so stupid, since everyone in my circle is smart and successful. I had no idea anyone like your kind even existed.”
Yet, someone named Christine D. actually wrote this to somebody named Will in a WhatsApp Chat.
By the way, I don’t know Christine or Will (at least I don’t think I do) but I’m pretty sure neither one of them is in middle school. In fact, I’m fairly confident that all of the posts quoted in this opinion piece were written by full-grown, fully functioning adults.
They, and many more who have posted equally awful things, should be embarrassed. And you, if you are in the habit of insulting your neighbors on chats, groups, and message boards, you should be embarrassed too.
And this brings me to my Rodney King moment.
Rather than merely asking the question, however, I’m going to suggest some simple guidelines when posting to, with, and about your neighbors.
First, your neighbors don’t need to know ALL of your opinions. Most things, in fact, are best left unsaid.
Second, remember that you’re all on the same team. None of your neighbors want to destroy the neighborhood, the area, the community, the city, the state, or the country.
Finally, treat your neighbors the way you would want to be treated and think of your neighbors the way you would want to be thought of. If you wouldn’t say it to their face, don’t write it online.
At the very least, do you know why you should do all that?
Because you never know when some little s**t like me might read your posts and publish them in the local newspaper.
Now go away and get that ball off my lawn.
Thom Mozloom is the President and CEO of The M Network, a Miami-based creative agency. He appears frequently in national and local media as a marketing, messaging and branding expert. He lives in the Upper East Side and he apologizes frequently to his wife, Lisa, his three wonderful kids, and his friends, neighbors, clients, and coworkers for writing or saying stuff like what you’ve just read.
