Biscayne Crime Beat October Print
Written by Derek McCann, BT Contributor   
October 2019

 

policeman_stopBike Locks Keep Letting Us Down

3400 block of N. Miami Avenue

Once again, we have an example of the system breaking down. What is supposed to make us secure doesn’t. And so it is with the story of the bicycle lock, purchased at Target because it was cheap. This employee, who’d secured his bike on the rack, later found his lock hanging sans bike. A witness saw the whole thing and even knows who did it. Police are now searching. If bike locks are so vulnerable, maybe it’s time to use the bus. I’ll say the odds are good that another bike will be stolen at the same location in time for next month’s column. Crime can be so predictable, and we are sorry.

 

Dancer’s Gotta Learn More Moves

600 Block of Biscayne Boulevard

Sure enough, someone does something dumb and then calls herself a victim. This woman was dancing along to the funky rhymes of “Bad Bunny” and the riff “I like it.” Now, she started out smart, with her purse on her the whole time, cumbersome though it was. But then for reasons unknown, she just set it down, just for a few minutes. She later left with the purse but discovered hours later that her driver’s license and cash were missing. So stealthy theft once again slays the dimwitted.

 

Trade War Hits Home?

100 Block of NE 11th Street

This woman was wanting to check out the burlesque show at the E11EVEN club, where they also have trapeze acts. During the fun, she received a text and checked her cell phone. She put it back in her purse, which she zipped shut, she says. But it didn’t take her long to find the zipper open and her phone gone. She still had her wallet, at least. Attempts to call the phone rendered no results. Three days later she was notified her phone was being activated in China.

 

Living in the Dark

2300 block of NW 2nd Avenue

You may conclude, from the above police reports, that most people calling in crimes are just plain dumb. Not so! This woman took extra precautions in holding on to her purse at the Wynwood taco/bar Coyo Taco, by wrapping the straps around her wrist, yet her wallet was stolen anyway. The victim said it was very loud and dark, and she has no recollection of it being stolen. Her report was made well after the place was closed. This happened around way late and the ecstasy had probably already worn off. That’s a double blunder; go find some light because your night is over and your identity is no doubt stolen. Why are you out so late anyway?

 

Practice Your Stance at Your Uber Wait

1000 Block of Biscayne Boulevard

This man was out with his son, enjoying some bonding time, when he called for an Uber. As they waited outside for the driver to arrive, a group of youngstas walked by. One bumped into him, grabbing the cell phone out of his back pocket. Dad didn’t realize it was stolen until after he sat down and didn’t feel that hard bulge under his butt. He made calls to the number, but his former phone was turned off. So, Miamians, adopt the kūdō defensive position at all times, especially when waiting and standing still. You are all huge targets.

 

Eat, Drink, and Be Merry?

6000 Block of Biscayne Boulevard

Two men were obviously looking to hook up. They met two other guys at a local dive bar and the four went back to the motel where they were staying. They walked past the prostitutes, as they had their own party ready to go. The two visitors acted as bartenders, serving endless drinks to their hosts. The booze got the better of our amateur drinkers, who passed out. And with that, so went their Rolex watches! Each of these dolts had money for the better things in life, but fools and their watches are soon parted.

 

Smells Fishy

1200 Block of W. Flagler St.

Man entered a seafood store and headed to the salmon section. He began grabbing large packs of smoked salmon, and he did not look like he was intending to pay. Correct. The thief took off, running down Flagler. A store employee tried to play hero and chased after him for several blocks. The runner dropped a few of the packages and the employee was able to retrieve two of them. The well-travelled salmon was returned to the store, and likely now is being enjoyed by someone with no knowledge of this silly caper.

 

Another Late-Night Bummer

6200 Block of N. Miami Avenue

The store clerk at a gas station saw a man strolling around at the back of the store. He looked sketchy, she later said, and all of a sudden, he ran toward the front, grabbed a bag of M&Ms, and sprinted out the door. He got out before she could activate the automatic front locks -- which raises other concerns, like being taken hostage by a Gen Z store clerk. She told police she knows who that man is, and that he lives in her neighborhood. That’s a lot of drama for blue M&Ms, but guess he thought they were worth it.

 

Thug Goes Pro at the Phone Counter

N. Miami Avenue at 35th Street

A man walked straight to the prepaid cell phone display area at Target. He began fiddling with one of his packages, which drew the interest of a store associate, who sort of chased him away from the counter. But like a kitten seeing his first mouse, the culprit went right back to the display and pulled a sharp object out of his pocket. He used his tool to cut open one of the display boxes, pulled out the phone, and walked out of the store. There’s video of the incident. This guy really wanted that phone; maybe he’s found some sort of marketing opportunity for Target and hot phones.

 

Is There No More Goodwill in Miami?

400 Block NE 81st Street

One would hope there are some kinds of businesses still off-limits to crooks. No so, Miami. This particular thrift store had been hit several times by the same man over the past month. He’d come in several times a day and randomly take items, right in the open. Security staff didn’t seem to worry this hoodlum. This time, though, when the man came in, the supervisor grabbed a bullhorn, causing the man to leave. But when he saw it was the supervisor, he laughed and grabbed two more items. There’s clear video of the thug, and investigation is ongoing.



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