The Biscayne Times

Dec 13th
Biscayne Crime Beat September PDF Print E-mail
Written by Derek McCann, BT Contributor   
September 2017

policeman_stopHey, I Just Work Here

1 NE 79th St.

At the Marathon gas station, a woman was pumping gas when a car came up to her and a person in the passenger seat asked to use her phone. We gather the imminent victim was in the market for a new one, so why not recycle the old one to a random person? The car drove off after the hand-off, of course. The woman was startled and asked the attendant to call 911. The clerk said he could not. There are also video cameras, but clerk could not access them. He can sell you discount cigarettes, though. The victim ran across the street for help. Doubt she got any.


Does Any Bike Security Work?

500 Block of NE 79th Street

A cyclist left his bike chained in front of the Goodwill store and entered to get some good old-fashioned, secondhand junk. He only browsed for about ten minutes, but by far long enough for a thief to cut the chain and make off with his wheels. The victim is going to have to Uber for now.


Uber Hell

100 Block of NE 71st Street

A man called Uber and waited for the driver’s arrival right in front of his complex. Sounds reasonable, until he saw two men running his way, seemingly in fear of their lives. In reality, they were coming for him as one brandished a silver firearm. In fear of his life, victim fell to the ground and his wallet, phone, and other items were forcibly taken from him. One of the subjects spontaneously offered, “We stay at NW 2nd Avenue and 65th Street.” Maybe in case the victim wanted his stuff back, sort of like a ghetto loan system? When Uber arrived, the driver saw victim on ground, and the culprits told him to split or risk killing his fare. No arrests have been made, but suggest you stay in your home when waiting for Uber.


Uber Hades

NE 59 Street and N. Miami Avenue

In another of several incidents, a victim dialed up Uber. As he did, a black sedan approached him. Uber is fast, but not that fast. He heard some strong mumbling heading his way, so he looked up from his app and saw a black handgun pointed at this face. The culprit, wearing a mask, was upon the victim without warning -- since he was looking down at his phone, like most people do as our criminal brethren watch and laugh at us. Gun-toting masked mugger demanded the victim’s backpack, wallet, and phone. He then told the victim to run or he’d shoot. The subject still at large, and there are no leads.


Just When You Thought It Was Safe

30 NE 70th St.

Roommates are a mixed bag of horrors and possible mate material. Sometimes both. Victim began receiving texts on his Whatsapp app from a random number, threatening his life and the lives of his family unless he anted up $500. He also received videos of random killings. He called the police and told them he believes it is his ex-roommate, with whom he had a major falling out. Police had been called to this home a month prior. Roommate has the “means to carry out the threat,” according to the victim. No updates, but here’s hoping roommate is like Kim Jong Un (sans haircut), making threats he won’t deliver on.


Kids Need Better Entertainment Options

7500 Block of NE 3rd Court

Police received a report about a young person with a BB gun. Thankfully, this is better than the stronger alternative. He was shooting up a parked bus with pellets, and other vehicles as well. Shattered windshields and other glass exposed the aftermath of this random thrill seeking, as police canvassed the area for the little runt. The automatic door to the bus was damaged. The subject could not be apprehended, and here’s hoping he can at least switch to a Super Soaker.


Approach with Caution

600 Block of NE 79th Street

It’s not a pleasant sight when you go to your car and see someone else inside it. No, it’s not your annoying boyfriend, but a stranger. This victim calmly asked the intruder what he was doing in her car. That takes guts, as most victims would have just run off, but this was her car and she was having none of it. And this is what she asked: “This is my car, and what are you doing?” Perpetrator left the vehicle without incident. Nothing was taken, though the passenger door locks were broken.


Nosy Geek Is Our Hero

600 Block of NE 85th Street

With everyone wanting that YouTube moment or perfect Instragram, we have become a nation of stalkers. However, in this case, a man burglarized a home, taking many items of value, including a laptop and $300 in cash. A neighbor witnessed the whole incident and took picture after picture of the suspect. While he may have placed it on Facebook for yucks, he did turn the photos over to police, and there is now an ID. Good going, neighbor, and keep the viral dream alive.


Money Rolls

200 Block of NE 3rd Street

A worker arrived at a construction site early one morning, after being there the night before. He noticed that there was a major change. A total of 20 rolls of electrical wire were missing, to the astounding tune of $7000. That is a lot of wire, people. Amazingly, there are no cameras at this construction site, so there’s no way to determine how this happened. We just love these cost-cutting measures, don’t we?


Spending Bucks But Losing Bucks

400 Block of NE 53rd Street

In this home, money would have been better spent on better home security. This is in an effort to protect items such as these: cufflinks, watches, platinum wedding rings with ruby stones surrounded by sapphires (as detailed in officer’s report). But that bathroom screen was tampered with, and this is where the intruder made entry. The intruder managed to put the surveillance cameras face down, as they were located above the fireplace. Only the body was viewable, so no way to determine gender, race, height, or weight. This was the only camera in the residence. For whatever reason, it wasn’t bolted down, so thief could have made his own videos.


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