The Biscayne Times

Jul 18th
Biscayne Crime Beat March PDF Print E-mail
Written by Derek McCann, BT Contributor   
March 2017

policeman_stopTry Saying Hi, At Least

5900 Block of NE 4th Court

We never know when we will be chosen, Miami crime-style. This woman arrived home to find everything in disarray. A ladder had been used to enter the home via the kitchen window, though it’s a one-story complex, and this wasn’t really explained further. Furniture and other items had been overturned and scattered about. Three personal computers, a box containing jewelry, a camera, and a watch were among the items reported stolen. The victim does not have security cameras installed and doesn’t talk with her neighbors, so there are no leads, just awkward glances. Time to bake that cake.


Ready for Takeoff

60 Block of NE 80th Terrace

Police received multiple calls from a home regarding an intruder. When they arrived, the victim pointed to a closet where the man was hiding inside. He quickly apologized all around and said he was just “looking for sex” and saw a home he thought was abandoned. Maybe he thought he’d set up this pad as his own personal Starship Enterprise. Captain Kirk didn’t appear to understand that one can’t just enter a residence even if it looks abandoned. He was immediately arrested.


Some Lingering Faith in Humanity

100 Block of NE 47th Street

A tenant had moved out of his apartment and taken all his belongings. The next day the landlord entered to check the unit. The washer and dryer were both missing. The total value of the appliances is $4800. The culprit had apparently entered via the front door. To the landlord’s credit, or maybe naiveté, he told police that it couldn’t have been the tenant. It will be interesting if that tenant still gets his deposit back. No arrests were made at press time.


Zero Faith in Humanity

200 Block of NE 51st Street

Maybe this roommate is more jaded than the aforementioned landlord -- or maybe he just knows his people more. He called police after he arrived home from work and found that two boxes were missing from his closet. The contents were not disclosed in the report, but for some reason, the name of his former roommate came to mind because he might still have a key. The victim thinks the roommate just entered through the front door then left the same way. With lingering doubt like this, how could one ever have a roommate? They can all come back.


Now Pimp That Ride

65 NE 27th St.

There’s value in all wheels in this Grand Theft Auto culture, so long as they’re stolen. This video captures six men, in jeans and hoodies that conceal their identities, pulling off the heist of a U-Haul truck. In dramatic Tommy Vercetti style, they drive the truck out through the front gate and make Miami their driving paradise. They manage to take this lug on a pleasantly bumpy joyride all the way to North Miami, where they likely see their gas had gone low, and that’s no way to impress the ladies. The truck has been recovered, though items of value that were inside are gone.


Trust, Verify, and Hold onto Your Stuff

8600 Block of Biscayne Boulevard

Sometimes we’re in such a rush to do things that we forget our common sense. Case in point: On her way out from her business, this woman had a laptop secured inside a bag. She realized she’d forgotten something, so she placed the bag down next to her open car door and went back inside the business, i.e., she left her bag unattended in the parking lot. She returned minutes later and found the bag was missing. She talked to numerous people who had no information for her. Since the incident, she has received a number of mystery calls on her cell phone from numbers she doesn’t recognize. Her laptop has not been recovered, and there is no surveillance video.


Don’t Go for That Open-Door Policy

100 Block of NE 56th Street

Our weather is the envy of the country, right? They all come here to share it with us, but we get to live in it. Why not enjoy it completely from the comfort of our home? This woman left her door open as she sat on the couch. A man on a bike drove back and forth and looked inside, smiling. Hey, people are friendly, right? He took this to the next level and tried to enter the home without invitation. He approached her while she sat on the couch, most likely enwrapped in the middle of the latest Walking Dead episode. She emitted a blood-curdling scream, causing the friendly visitor to run off. She now closes her door, we’re sure.


Little Guy’s Eternal Plight

5700 Block of NE 4th Avenue

Who can compete with the big brick-and-mortar stores that can afford the overhead? Not us. This victim was proctoring the good old-fashioned garage sale, no doubt trying to make ends meet. A customer came by, expressed an interest in some items, and said he had to leave to get more money. When he came back, he just started to take items without paying for them. He was asked to leave. He did, only to return later with an ice pick, which he used to slash one of the tires on the owner’s Ford F350 truck. He has since come back again but left without incident. Police are searching for him. It’s time to go online or invest in a drone.


Panhandle in Peace

300 Block of NE 2nd Avenue

We know there are panhandlers everywhere in Miami, as it helps paint our urban pastiche. At this McDonalds, they’re especially notorious, grabbing your peel-off Monopoly game burger wrapper, should you discard it without playing. This vagrant was causing “a ruckus” that went well beyond the usual. He was yelling at customers, banging the doors, then took a metal garbage can in the bathroom and threw it against the bathroom walls. He was still screaming when police arrived and was immediately arrested.


Lipstick Vandal Busted

1700 Block of N. Bayshore Drive

Living in a complex produces its own challenges, and vandalism apparently comes in different shades. A woman used her lipstick to deface a man’s car, due to his parking in her spot. Well, that’ll show him. The lipstick didn’t come off easily, and though the victim knew the person who did it, he let it go. It happened again a week later, but this time there was a small scratch “consistent with a lipstick” device. He called the police. She admitted to the act and offered him $500 to repair it. No arrests were made, but hopefully he’ll at least park in his own spot before she breaks out the eyeliner.


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